People

Fact:  There are some crappy people in this world.  In the past 8 or so hours, I feel that I have seen some of the worst of the worst.  From the horrible bombings on one of the most celebrated holidays back home to drunkards insulting coworkers.  I don't know how people get to such a sad place in their lives that they feel justified in their actions.  It's always hard being away from home.  It was terrifying to think of friends and family back there.  And then not having phones working was pretty traumatic.  

You know what gives me hope though?  The great people of the world.  "Boston is a tough and resilient town."  I admire my friends.  People who have checked in with me to make sure my family and friends are okay, which they are, gratefully.  I have seen incredible acts of humanity today. I have friends in Boston who have opened their homes to people who need it.  I hear of runners who were forced to stop the race, who then in turn, went to the hospital to donate blood to those who needed it.  So many people went to donate blood that they are turning them away now.  

People of Boston ran to the help of the victims.  And I have watched on Facebook as hundreds of my friends have extended their prayers towards Boston.  There are famous football players helping victims to safety.  I watched my coworker turn the other cheek when a crazy man made some appalling comments.  

My brother sent an email today from his mission, not knowing what happened today in Boston.  He opened his email with this: "It always makes me very sad that no one even realizes it is Patriot's Day in California. I love Patriot's day. It is the best, but none of the missionaries here even know what it is. :( Sad day."

I am grateful for people who understood that while they maybe don't get it, they know the impact that it made on the people of Boston...and me.  I am grateful for family who checked in.  I'm grateful for a fiance who takes care of me, physically and emotionally.  I am grateful for a people that turn to God in prayer.  I am grateful for a knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  

All in all, I am grateful for a knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  There are some crappy people.  But I am grateful that I get to strive to be more like Jesus Christ everyday.  I am grateful that I was raised in a way that I was taught to be a better person and to learn from mistakes as I grow.  I am grateful for the people in my life who choose to do the same.  I am grateful for the people of Boston.  My prayers go out to them.  I hope yours do too.

Changes

Sometimes life changes. We change. I change. I was talking to one of my best friends about this the other day. I have changed so so much in the past year. For the better. I've learned a bit about myself. And more about what I want out of life.

Throughout my mission and when I came home one of the things that people would always ask was, what did you learn on your mission? Or what is the biggest lesson that you have learned? And my most common answer that I remember is that I learned how involved God is in each one of our lives. Everyday. Every part. Everyone. Now it's almost been three years since I've come home... And I've seen this even more in my life. On my mission I saw how missionaries were used as tools to touch other people's lives for God at just the time when they are needed.

And while on occasion I feel I am sometimes used that way, I see now somewhat of a grander plan. I've been molded in the past year. There have been times that have been pretty rough. There have been times that have been pretty lonely. There have been times that have been pretty busy. There have been times that I have felt pretty stressed, or frustrated, or irritated, or disappointed (with myself at times, with others at other times).

But one thing that I know is that God has been there watching out for me and helping me all along the way. To be where I need to be. And who I need to be. I'm not by any means perfect, but I am extremely blessed. God leads us to happiness. Every. Single. Time. Whether it's a text from a friend you haven't heard from in a while, or a hug from a little kid in class, or an email from a family member about something ridiculous, or a boy who makes you feel like a million bucks every day. As long as we're trying, God will always always always let us feel his love and help us to find joy. We have to look for it. And strive for it. And sometimes He's so awesome to give us tastes of it without our work. But imagine how great it's gonna be when we reach the other side if these little bits of happiness are just tastes of what we could have....life is grand my friends. God is great. Keep it up. It's worth it. I promise.

Odd Ducks

I'm kind of odd.  I make weird faces.  I love tandem bikes.  I am a Harry Potter nerd.  I sing preschools songs throughout the day.  I skip when I get excited.  I'm a bit awkward.  I dress up for holidays.  I relate with characters in TV shows and movies.  I don't answer my phone.  I'd rather go to Chili's than Cheesecake factory.  I wear bright colors that don't match.  I get distracted easily.  I wear fake glasses sometimes.  I like LOTR and Star Wars.  I own a furby.  I can shop in Target for like 2 hours.  I can pass for a 15 year old.  I'm ridiculously early normally.  I don't eat like a normal person.  I hate public speaking but love teaching.

People's quirks are what make them interesting.  I love odd ducks.  I love being odd.  I love being just a little off.  I know who I am.  I know God wants me to be the best ME I can be.  Quirks and all.  Bonkers is the way to be.  I highly advise it.  Try it out :)

Superwoman

Sometimes I like to pretend like I have no weaknesses.  I try very hard to be the best that I can be in most aspects of my life.  Then I try to put too much on my plate, and do too much, and realize that I still have too much to do...and I end up here in bed, with plans to see the doctor in the morning cause within the past 3 days I've had fevers, aches, lightheadedness, and most recently a wretched cough that needs to go away.  I'm not good at saying no, I am staying home from work.  Or no, I am not going to that meeting.  Or no, I need that time for myself.  So here I sit....feeling like I did last year when I got bronchitis....or the year before when I got pneumonia...Someday, I will find the balance.  Someday.........