A conversation

Today.  I had an interesting conversation with my institute teacher before class.  He asked me how dating was going since coming to California and if I was "dating" anyone.  I told him I was going on dates.  And we had a discussion about dating here, cause he's gonna teach a marriage prep class this summer.  And it caused me to look back on my dating life and come to some realizations.

I have dated lots.  Not as an exaggeration, but really.  I have dated and gone on dates with all sorts.  Jocks, nerds, geeks, etc.  Recently returned missionaries, guys who have been home a long time, guys who haven't been on missions, guys who aren't members.  White guys, black guys, latinos, polys, asians.  Up to 8 years older, and 3 years younger.  Guys with goals, guys without goals.  Guys who treat me like crap, and guys who treat me like a queen.  All sorts really.  Real serious relationships, to not relationships at all.

Guys ask me often what I expect.  It's funny cause I used to hate that question.  Why does it matter what I expect?  Well here you go.  Here is what I expect and I am stealing some of these from a dear friend's blog cause she worded some of it better than I:

1)  Ask for my phone number :)  simple right?  apparently not.  i can't count the number of guys who have given me their numbers, who have got my number from facebook, who have gotten my number from friends.  yes.  congrats on getting my number.  and thanks for using it.  but just ask me for it really.  i give it out normally.  unless you're a creeper.  haha

2)  Ask me out.  another simple one right?  apparently not.  i have developed the art of sidestepping the ask out.  I can most always read when a guy is going to ask me out, when he's leading up to it, and I do pretty good at sidestepping a lot of them.  Mean, right?  Sorry if you think that.  But I just know what I want.  I can't tell you how impressive it is to me for a guy to avoid my sidestepping and still find a way to ask me out.  I say yes if they get there.

3)  Are you asking ME out?  me??  or your friends?  please.  if you're asking me out.  please be with me.  be my date.  i promise i'll try and be a good date in return.  don't take me out with all your friends cause you had to find a date.  don't invite all your friends cause you're scared to be awkward around me.  You're old enough to man up.  Please do.

4)  Plan a date!  Nothing scares me/is a turn off to me more than a null plan plus a guy who doesn't know how to be spontaneous.  It's cool if you don't have it all planned out, but have ideas please!

5)  Sometimes in life to you have to take a leap of faith.  That's what dating is.  Going on a date is a leap of faith.  It is scary.  And very few people that I know in my life like dating.  But it's gotta be done.  Stop avoiding it.  Stop freaking out and saying you're intimidated.

6)  Don't be scared.  I am awesome.  I have a head on my shoulders.  I have goals.  I have a strong testimony.  I work out.  I've traveled a bit of the world.  I've graduated school.  I served a mission.  I date a bit.  I have a full-time job.  I'm secure about who I am.  I want to get married.  I live on my own.  I'm super nice and friendly.  So what?  Get over it.  My mom says the right guys won't be intimidated by that.  So work to be the right guy.  I don't bite :)

7)  Yes, I have a list.  And maybe one day i'll let you see it if you ask real nicely.  Started in young women's, continued through life and added to by my mission president.



And all together.  My students think i'm 15, and while I am a fair bit older than that, I'm not stressing about getting married.  People ask the question.  Alll the days.  And guys think that if we go on a date that I'm desperate enough to think that we're going to get married.  Yes, the very act of dating is a precursor to marriage.  But in no way shape or form does one date mean that I have fallen head over heels for you!  chill my friends.  take a breath.  No need to rush nothing.  No need to freak out.

God's gotta plan.  He knows what's up.  Just do the right things and it'll work out.  Sorry for the rant.  Just lots of thoughts in my head.  And to finish, a grand answer from my dear friend as to why she is not married, and my favorite song of the moment:

i explained to her that i have worked really hard to create a fabulously, uplifting life for myself in the present.

one full of love and friendship and genuine happiness.

and until i find someone who is going to add to those things,
this single lady is keepin' her hand up.

because i'm not settling.

i refuse to regress.

that doesn't mean i refuse to compromise for the right feeling.

it just hasn't happened yet.

and i don't believe anything is wrong with me, 

instead for the first time in my life i feel right.

right where i belong.

right with what is yet to come.